Lets play
by XoXFallen-for-cullenXoX
Summary: And this is how my world died..  It all started as all tragedies do..  with pain, and deception..
1. Chapter 1

It all started, as all tragedy's do..

with pain, and deception...

My name is Renesme. And I'm in love with someone who is bad for me.

I always knew that it would happen

I would get hurt, and end up hurting everyone else, especially _him._

_I _just never knew how to end it when it got to far. I could never hide my feelings.

He wasn't good for me.. He wasn't good for me..

I would tell myself over and over.

Don't do it, ness, don't do it..

I never listened to myself..Never.

And that's my problem i listen to him.. and not my own heart.

I loved him.

But we got ripped apart by myself and my family.

He always follows me like a shadow.. The rain of regrets, they never leave me..


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't think you get this.."

He whispered shakily into my ear. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought my body closer to his. "please." I pleaded to him desperately.

"NO, ness." He pushed my away. I looked into Jacobs serious rejecting brown eyes. I couldn't help but feel hurt. "Not now," He said putting his hands on my face trying to calm the hurt in my heart.

I parted from him and fixed my shirt and hair. It was dark in his room and i felt as if there was tension now between us, he did the same and sat us down on the couch in his living room. I sat away from him thinking he wanted space but he looked at me and dragged my closer. He rested an arm around me and sighed.

"You're not ready for that yet, babe.. How do you even know how to-" I looked up at him and smiled. "Kay, ya .. NO." I giggled. "I am ready, i don't know what you're talking about."

"You're 15, Ness you're dad will kill me, literally."

"he doesn't have to know.." He laughed at me and blushed.

"If i ever, did that with you.. Did those, things.."He blushed and i bit my bottom lip.

"I wouldn't be able to stop myself from having little, flash backs.." He winked.

I felt disappointed, and silly. "I'm not giving up on what i want." I said while moving onto his lap. "Too bad sweet cheeks. Now if you will excuse my babe..I have to go patrol its my shift. I'll drop you off first though."

"fine." I huffed.

He changed and i climbed on his back and kicked him in the side like a hoarse.

I laughed loudly until he took off and i almost pissed myself, thinking i would have face planted off of him.

He was, fast. Really fast. Im surprised i didn't have a good case of whiplash. I leaned down with all my might and whispered din his ear. "The only time you'll let me ride you is when you're in dog formation. Aha."

He barked sounding like a laugh or telling me to shuttup.

He slowed to a walk at the usually spot letting my collect myself so i wouldn't puke from the ride. "I can walk from here," i said checking my wrist watch he had to jet or he would get into shit from Leah.

"I dont want you in trouble." He stopped and let me off of his back. I walked around him and kissed his nose. I looked into his big brown wolf eyes and caught a sense of worry. "Im fine you big lug. Leave."

He nodded once and ran away.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't know what to think of what he said.

I didn't want to take rejection. I was going to get what i wanted,i always do.

I'm joking of course, i was never greedy.. But i want this while I'm still half, human..

I dont see any other problems but that.. Like he can control his god damn thought around my dad.

I wonder if hes just saying that.. Maybe he doesn't want to have sex yet..

Jesus.. All i wanted to do is lay-down and blast some tunes , all this trying to get laid thing is stressful.

I was approaching our house when I noticed;

"Gee.. My dads car is gone.. And no other cars were in sight either."

I wonder ..

I ran up the stairs and opened the door to an empty house.

"Hello! Ya! Forgot to bring nesse!" I sighed and sat down on the couch.

I wonder everyone has gone to. Well i guess its kinda a good thing i smirked thinking of the unthinkable. Party? Ahah oh how i would LOVE to throw a party here. I could just see it crowds of people dancing downing bottles of jack. Snorting speed off of the tables... Ya sure like that was ever gonna be able to happen.

I chuckled the thought of me throwing a party, things would get out of hand.

And an out of hand party is just means, it will be the greatest night of you're teenaged life.

I needed the chill out first and see if there is a note around this place first.

I check the fridge and sure enough a folded not with my fathers writing.

"_My baby girl"_

Was scrolled on the front, I proceeded to open it and red its contents.

"_There was an out-burst at the house._

_Me and you're mother will be taking the next flight to France.._

_We need, time._

_I hope you understand._

_Emmett and Rose already left before we could catch where exactly where they ran._

_Esme and Alice, went to Europe... Needless to say they are one a week long shopping trip_

_I feel horrible for leaving you here I know you would have loved France._

_Next time baby, I promise._

_Carlisle is following Esme onto the trip..._

_Jasper, is staying with you to watch. We figured you and him never really spent anytime together giving other events but we are all assured that would never happen again._

_I Love you unconditionally and Forever._

_Yours truly, Daddy." _

I wasn't mad or sad, i was..meh. Emmett and dad never really got along since what happened.. I just wish everything went back to normal after that.

Jasper, lost control one time..

ONE time, i had forgave him and I was the one who was attacked!

Ugh, I slipped and i cut myself on a rock.

It was a nice family thing, buy the stream strolling in the woods, it was BEAUTIFULE out and we need bonding time. It wasn't long ago around a week or so.

I was jumping across the stream on rocks, and what do you know i slip fall almost get bitten, and oh a silent house for 6 days. I ruin everything.

I opened the fridge.. And what i expected nothing, no food at all! We always ran low on food because well nobody but me eats int he house, just awesome..

I was kinda glad jasper stayed to watch me, i always felt bad.. I felt bad because everyone hated him for it. But i get it. I feel the mans pain.

I just wonder where he is i wanna go grab a bite to eat. So i waited on the couch flipping through channels i didn't want to watch. I was interested in TV not at all.

So i grabbed a book instead. Reckless, one of my favourites. I laid myself down on the couch and read. One of the bad thin for me about reading is i get really sleepy and i tend to pass out and that i did. I fell the world slip and i was sleeping there on the couch peacefully dreaming about running.

I'm not sure why butt hat what i have been dreaming about for the past month running. The sounds and the feeling My feet hitting the ground and my heart. _Thump thump thump_.. Breath.. _Thump thump thump_..


	4. Chapter 4

K hay guys. I bought eclipse and watchig it just made me wanna write more so here. I'm in thunder bay right now and I'm doing this by iPhone note ahah Lolol k.

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After passing out i awoke to nothing only the sound of a commercial. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my back out. "mmmm" That always feels nice. I looked around and from what i saw I was still alone.. In got up and onto my feet the squeak of the floor boards joined me. "Jasper..?"

I waited for a call in return. Nothing, awesome. I walked to the stair case I walked up the stairs and passed all the rooms they were all Empty ..

Till I got to carlise's study, I opened the door and sure enough, there was Jasper hunched over reading huge text . His golden locks hanging Down and his muscular arms moving to tune to the next page. I sighed in relief, "Jasper.."

"hmm?" he looked up at me and smiled. " didn't you here me calling you?" I asked walking to the desk. "uhh, ya.. I think.." he seemed to e very interested in that book more then anything. "what are you reading?" "the fall of the romaine empire " I looked at him and smiled, "nice." I put my hand on my stomach as it growled loudly. My cheeks flushed as I rubbed it.

"you're hungry?" he smirked. "ya.." I looked down and smiled. He closed his books and stood. " let's go my belle." i followed Jasper out and to his silver car. It was dark out, and the fresh air welcomed me. I felt tension allot of it.. He opened the passenger seat for me and I climbed in. And in a flash the car was started and he was driving. I turned up the radio and turned it to octane, the metal channel . He laughed and turned it all the way down. I looked at his twisted half smirk, Barley showing his perfect white teeth. I quickly blasted the thrashing music and kept my hand on the dial. He smiled the same twisted smile .

He slowly put a hand over mine kept there and slowly turned the dial till quite. We looked at each-other and he smiled. " it's wither country or rock, I don't do metal." I laughed and looked at him. " you don't do anything." He looked at me and smirked . "what's that supposed to mean?" I laughed at myself as I blushed. "I don't know, you kind of keep to yourself but, that's not what I was getting at I'm just, horrible at jokes.." He laughed. "well Nessie my dear , after what happened I didn't know what to say to you, how to start a casual conversation with someone after trying to kill them isn't my forte.." I looked down to my lap and laughed a dry humorless laugh. "I'm , sorry.. For that day Jasper.." I never said sorry before cause we stopped talking..

But I felt bad all the time. I just never knew what to do. "Nessie " he sighed. "what happened that day was not you're fault. Don't ever feel bad for it. It was an accident & I'm sorry if it ever got in the way of anything." I looked at him , his grip on the wheel was tight, his jaw hard and his eyes burning brilliantly. His gold Locks fell perfectly around his face and his lanky body was causally put. "ok.." was all I could say to him. I'll always feel bad for that day.. Everyone took sides and fought. Emm and Jasper used to be close, now i haven't seen them talk. Everything from then on escalated and it wasn't about Jasper attacking me anymore, old fights and accouters driven them into a complete war. He slid a hand on my leg and squeezed comfortably and I shakily sighed as waves of encouraging comfort washed me down. "thanks."

I said looking at him and he didn't look back. Expecting him to remove his hand he didn't he kept it there until we got to the grocery store. He put the car in park and grabbed the keys out. As I was taking my belt off I noticed him looking at me. I looked at him as smiled. "what?" "nothing, i just wanted to make sure you're relaxed.." He said in his southern drawl that sent shivers up my spine. He dance his fingers across my cheek. At his cold touch I closed my eyes and exhaled a deep breath. My body was chill, numb my mind at peace. Like i was in a haze i laughed for no reason just a giggle.. My mind was else where soon I had forgotten everything. I could feel a force bring me closer , closer to something good .. Something I wanted something I craved.

I was falling into a trance of nothing just nothing ... "Jasper" i whispered. "hmm?" he answered my call he sounded so close.. I opened my clouded eyes and stared directly into his. Our faces only centimetres apart. A very precious few centimetres separated our touch."I feel so.." i couldn't find the words. "relaxed, high, hazed.. " he whispered . I could feel his lips graze mine but I didn't know what was going on.. "ya.." I pulled away.. "that felt really nice." I said moving away trying to break tension.

"ya i learnt that a while ago, it's like putting someones mind in a high, letting them unwind. I know you have been stressed , i feel it all the time on you. " my vision was hazy and I had a stupid goofy grin on my face. "ooh!" I laughed again with no reason. And so did awhile of sitting in silence, we got out of the car and went grocery shopping I picked everything to last me a week and he checked we were in the car again I turned to radio to classic rock put my seat back and rested. I didn't sleep I starred out the window . thinking. " I'm not really hungry anymore jazz.."

"ok, but in the morning I'm making you the biggest breakfast ever." I smiled . Once we got home the after effects of what Jasper did to Me mad me mad tired.

"Jasper, I'm, gunna, go.. Pass out." He looked at me one last time in the car and nodded I walked to the door resting my head against it and using all my power to open it . I threw myself on the couch and slept . I was dreaming.. I dreamt I was running, again but fear filled me . Anxiety and fear. "no!" I heard screams of people children and parents. I was crying while running . I was blind, to everything around me. Somethings there chasing me, evil.. Hands touched means shook me,.

" no, no! Please! Stop!" I opened my eyes and I was no longer

blind. Jasper's worried face poured into my eyes. "Nessie?" He sounded scared. "Jasper.." I sighed as tears ran down my face, I put my arms around him and cried . He held me telling me everything was fine. " Jasper I'm scared..I've been having the same dream for months , don't leave I'm scared!" I held him tighter. "Ness it's ok it's only a dream , I won't let go.. Not until you tell me too." I let go a breath and moved myself closer. I was on his lap I'm not sure how I got there but I was. My face was in his shoulder and my hands on his chest . His arms cradled me. We were like this for at least a half hour . I pulled away to look at him. He wiped a tear from my cheek and smiled a bit. " you look really tired still.." I nodded. "come," he said moving. " come lay down with me. I'll bake sure the dreams are done." I nodded. I checked the time the way up the stairs it was 12:30.

Once we got to his room he undressed me. I looked at him surprised. He stood in front of me pulling of my pants, then my shirt then just looking at my for a bit. I stood there silent and still . I was in my panties and my best push up. He went into the drawer and got a shirt of his. his cold hands moving around me mad me shiver Ina good way. He went behind me and put the flannel shirt on me. His breathing hitting my neck . He took my hair and moved it to the side . His hands made everything complete . It was warm, and it felt right. He had stripped to his boxers. " time to sleep Nessie ." he whispered. I nodded and climbed into the bed before he did. I curled up in the middle sighing. He followed wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face into his chest and mumbled to him. "Nessie I know . You were scared just sleep now I'm here." He squeezed me and I did as i was told.


	5. Chapter 5

_hayhayhay_

so, hi.

heres a chapter dawhg.

Hope you like!

RandR

* * *

I awoke to the sun beaming through the window onto the bed. Jasper was sitting up his back facing me. His skin sparkled and reflected like diamonds beautiful diamonds. "Morning." I greeted him softly. He turned and looked at me. His eyes look tired and his face was sick when a vampire looks tired you know something is wrong.

"whats wrong ? You need to feed?" He nodded. "I was just worrying all night, protecting you from nightmares an all."

"Oh well-"

"why are you having these night mare Ness? There horrible you go into hysteria." I sat up and looked at him. "I don't know, they've been happening allot. But im sure they'll stop. You have to go feed now."

He nodded slowly and got up grabbing clothes from his dresser he walked out leaving me there. I laid myself back down and sighed looking up at the ceiling thinking about last night. His hands moving around me, and how I liked it.

Thats wrong, I thought to myself. So wrong, how would dad feel? How would Alice take this? I was playing with fire if I kept anything up. Tension surrounded us last night. Sexual tension. The way he held me felt so good.

Stop it Ness, I shook my head. I got up from jasper and Alice's bed walked down the hallway and to the washroom I ran a shower, cold of course, I striped down to nothing and entered the shower the cold made me shiver I felt my body shock and react to it.

I felt so much better, p The sun was shining into the washroom and my body felt refreshed. Its amazing what a cold shower can do to you.

I stepped out and wrapped myself in a towel. I got dressed and headed downstairs after making myself up, drying my hair, makeup, the works. I fit myself into a jean skirt, something my father would hate me in. I slipped into a pink tee and headed downstairs. I picked up the phone and dialed Jacobs number.

"Hello?" He answered tiredly, even though he sounded tired he still sounded sexy as ever. "mmm hi baby." I said in my sex kitten voice. He laughed, "oh hey there stranger." I giggled. "What you doing?"

"Nothing sweet cheeks, laying down. How about you."

"Same here, hey my parents left." I said kinda excited.

"really?" He said with a slur of curiosity. "Yes they did, for a couple weeks.. You know they need there solo time they're all just being pussy's."

"Hahah, alright babe. Im thinking a nice party." He said playfully I could feel his smirk in his voice.

"I was thinking the same thing ." I smiled.

"Not going to happen" I voice said behind me. I turned around to see a very awake jasper smiling down at me. He winked.

"who's that?" Jacob asked on the other line.

"just my crazy uncle.. Jasper's watching me cuz' I need a babysitter.." Jacob chuckled at my tone.

"Kay well, babe im gunna have a nap. Then im gunna come over. Alright?"

"Alright. Bye, love you."

"Love you more." He hung up and I smiled.

"Well that's cute." Jasper said running fingers through my hair. He smiled at me and kinda smiled back.

"Well, even though its lunch time im waiting for that brecky sir." I smiled as did he.

"Alright ma'am. Will that be scrambled or over easy?"

"Over easy, only one tho kay..?" He winked at me while grabbing a pan out of the cupboard and placing it on the stove. I stayed in the kitchen with him and helped. He made my egg and I made my toast.

Ahhh, breakfast in the middle of the day. I sat down and demolished my egg. I felt accomplished and full. I washed my dishes and joined jasper in the living room. He was intently watching the news and I sat beside him.

"You know, i'd love you forever if you let me throw a party." He looked at me and laughed. "Your so much like Alice.." His lips curled up into a grin as his eyes searched me.

"Thats not necessarily a bad thing ya know. My aunty Alice is cool shit." I smiled back at him.

He chuckled, "yes she is." Things grew silent, and thoughts of last night lingered in my mind. How is hands undressed me. The shock of adrenaline that flowed throughout my body.

I glanced over him one more time.

Time moved on, slowly . He didn't talk to me at all, we just sat there awkwardly. Until I heard three distinctive knocks on the door. I smiled greatly and hopped up from the couch and sprinted to the door. I opened it and there he was, looking glorious .

I jumped on him giving him a huge hug. He wrapped his huge arms around me squeezing me. I pulled away and looked into his warm chocolate eyes. I pressed my lips to his gently leaving them there, he moved his against mine. We were wrapped up in our kiss.

He pulled away from my face and smiled at me. "Hi," He greeted me while I unlocked my arms around him. "Hey." I smiled. We walked into the living room together jasper and Jake greeted each other. Jake sat beside jasper where I was sitting, he pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me body.

They made conversation that I really was not interested in and after 15 minuets I shifted in Jacob's lap knowing he'd appreciate that. "lets go somewhere 'jassob'." He laughed and tightened his grip around me. "aaah, okay. Where too?"

"Anywhere." We got up off the couch and left. His car was an old clunker, rusted and it always made a funny noise when it started. We drove around it was a beautiful day out.

He turned on a dirt road and I knew exactly where we were going. He went all the way down passing tree's of green and I watched the dirt rise up from behind the car.

We pulled up to a lake, and parked I looked at him and smiled. "Swim?" He nodded and winked. I giggled and ran out of the car. I shimmied out of my skirt exposing my pink lacey underwear and matching bra. I looked at a half naked Jacob and smiled. I walked around the car and wrapped my arms around him. His eyes traveled around my body.

His hands ran up and down my back and all over me. We walked over to the water and walked till the water hit my waist. I dived under the water and swam straight ahead. I came to the surface and looked around. Jacob was no were to be seen.

Hands came around me from behind and I screamed in surprise. He laughed and turned me around I wrapped my legs around his waist and attached my lips to his in a sweet kiss.

His hands brought my body closer if it was possible. His tongue slid into my mouth.

I could feel the obvious hard on he had and I smiled. Now was the time. I moved my hips against him and I felt myself react to him. His hands moved to my bra strap, and he was about to undo it I was ready to take it off but then he pulled him self away panting.

I looked at him surprised , so close! He searched my expression. "Sorry." He said quickly moving me away. "You do crazy things to me Ness." I didn't say anything, I just looked away. Damn.

Way to build me up there Jake.. I put on a smile and kissed him softly . "Its okay.." we moved back to his car he pulled out two towels from the trunk and we dried ourselves off.

I got my self dressed and we sat on the hood of his car. He put and arm around me and brought me closer to him.

"You know, I told you babe. I love you and I dot want you doing anything you'll regret later." I looked up at him . "Yea I know. I'm not mad," I wasn't mad. I understood I just wanted something I couldn't have." He nudged me , "awe babe. Thank you.."

We chilled and watched to sunset, he told me he had patrol again tonight. I wast happy with it I wanted to spend more time with him but.. That's the way it is. He drove me home it was dark and I wasn't tried. "I like this party idea.." I said taking his hand. "Yea? He smiled. A party sounds nice."

"Yes it does. Get nice and shmamered." He laughed. "well talk to jasper. Pull a guilt trip." I looked at Jacob and his smile. "I would never pull a guilt trip on him." I said with venom in my voice. His eyes met mine, he mumbled sorry.

He pulled in to the drive way. I leaned over and kissed him. But I didn't pull away. I knew I was going to miss him and I savored that kiss. Once our lips parted he kissed me one more time. "Love you baby." I whispered. "Love you more."

I left his car and walked to the door and he was already gone. I walked in, and headed straight to my room. I changed out of my damp underwear and put new ones on. I slipped on my pajamas , put my hair up and headed downstairs.

Jasper was no where to be seen. I lazed out on the couch and watched what was on. I wasnt interested at all. I picked up the phone and dialed my Tims number. I rang twice till I heard his familiar voice I loved. "whaddup." I laughed. "Timothy, what are you up to ?"

"Nothing Ren, Chillin with a cuple. How about you."

"Fuck all, My parents left for a couple of weeks. I might throw a party, and im bored as shit right now." He laughed at the other end, "well then how about we chill?"

"lets do it."

"Im coming over." He said and then hung up. I clicked the phone off and ran to my room and made myself present able. Jeans, and a sweater. I fixed my hair and my makeup and went downstairs and sat.

I waited for my very good friend timothy and whoever was with him to come over. Tim has been y friend since I turned 13, he was 15 at the time we met and we've been tight ever since. I saw his white car pull up recklessly I watched about twice as much the people it could hold walk out.

I opened the door after he knocked. I smiled and gave him a hug. He smiled his snake bite grin I know so well . I saw he brought company, about 7 other people. "who are they?" I asked. He named them off and I smiled and waved and let them in. The talked about my house as they walked in. I directed them to the living room.

They talked about shit, and I joined into there conversation. Tim had a thing for hanging out with the 'bad' crowd. A blonde guy with his arm around a red headed girl spoke up with a tone. "yea I got some shit." he said pulling out couple things that were all to familiar. He had three joint rolled up in his hands. All of the kids had smiles on their faces.

They looked at me. "You wanna blaze?" A boy with brown hair asked with a smile.

"Sure." I said, i've done weed once or twice with Tim of course and only Tim. I didn't do it with other people because of the thought of Jacob finding out. He would be so angry with me.

But I didn't see the problem. I lead them to the back door and we sat on the patio.

He lit them up and the smell welcomed me. When it was passed to me all eyes turned on me. I inhaled and passed it right along. I could feel it hit my throat it's been so long I thought.

They all came around and everyone was puffing . Conversations grew and laughter came along also. One of the other girl lit up a cigarette I don't smoke those.

"How do you two even know each other anyway?" The blonde one asked Tim. Time smiled brightly and looked at me. "I met this chick about three years ago. She's pretty chill."

I smiled at him.

I started to feel funny, it was hitting me now. I laughed loudly for no reason and all of them looked at me. That's when I noticed I didn't know any of them. "Hey guys.." I said. They all looked at me. "who are you guys anyways?"

"Im sorry!" tim said and he gestured to the group. "This is Nikki," he pointed to the red head. "That's Torrie," the blonde on waved. "Terri, Jack, Dave." A girl with ling brown hair and dark eyeliner sat, I noticed she didn't have any of the joint. Jack was very chill and , I noticed he had his eyes glued to me. He was cute. Dave was a talker he was the funny one because he was making all the jokes, making things less awkward.

Dave made a face at me. I started laughing hysterically and everyone was looking trying to find what was so funny. I pointed at Dave and he smiled slyly. I was really high, but I knew once I was done with my high I would regret it. But at the same time I loved the feeling.

The brown haired girl Nikki was looking at something behind me I looked behind me and it was jasper walking towards the door. He opened it and smiled at me. "That's my brother Jasper." I said.

FUCK.

"Hey kids." He greeted us, he smelt the air around and winked. "Having some fun are we?" They all laughed, the red head nodded. "Do you guys mind if I steal my sister from you guys for a minuet?" He asked, my stomach dropped. Im in trouble. "Not at all." Dave winked at me.

I got up almost falling in the process and everything was spinning but I tried to play it cool. I ran into the glass door, and laughed. Once we were inside the house he grabbed my arm tightly and dragged me up the stairs. He took me to the study and shut the door loudly I cringed. He walked to the desk and sat, his shoulders were tense and he didn't look up. I leaned against the wall.

"Don't get mad at me jasper. I don't need that right now." I whispered. He looked at me with rage. "Why because your to high?" He growled at me. I nodded ashamed, he walked up to me and closely stood. "Why Ness, why?" he asked sounding disgusted. I looked at him, but he didn't look back at me. "Jasper its no big deal. I've done it before. Please don't tell dad. Im sorry, Im sorry." I finished in a whisper, feeling my throat get the beloved pasty's. I buried my face in my hands and I felt tears stream down.

His hand came up to my face his fingers traced my jawline. "Its okay. Just, forget it go back out there have some fun.. Please dont cry." He wiped the tears on my cheeks and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I went downstairs and back out side without saying another word to jasper. I greeted them with a smile and we chilled for a bit longer till Tim was sober enough to drive.

Once they left I was burnt out so I went to bed.


	6. Chapter 6

I slept like a baby, that's what always happens .. I had no night mare either. I smiled at myself in my dark room, and glanced at my clock. It was 3 am, nice. I stretched m muscles and stepped out of bed thats when I felt the rush, to my head. I felt unbalanced and dazed. Head buzz. I went to bed high and woke up high.

I stumbled out of my room and stood in the bright hallway. The light burned my bloodshot eyes I slowed my pace and peered around like a fool. I went to the bathroom and looked at myself. My hair was messy, and I was still in my clothes , a pair of my favorite jeans and a sweater. I took off my sweater leaving me in a white tank. I splashed water on my face giving me tingles all over. I felt every single thing with high sensitivity. I rubbed lotion all over my face making my senses tingle even more almost giving me shivers. I pulled

a brush through my hair making it nice and smooth again.

I looked at myself one more time and noticed how red my eyes were. I laughed and left the bathroom. Everything seemed so fake and unreal. I could feel it everywhere in my body, my legs, my thighs, and it coursing through my veins. I loved this feeling, so much. It felt like the time in the car with jasper. How he was so close to my face and I could feel his cold breath dance across my lips. I almost quivered in the desire.

I walked down the stairs and made my way to the living room and sat in the quite. Then I realized, there were two things that killed me in this house.. It was the silence, it made me want to go insane. The other thing was the thought of Jasper being mad at me.

I closed my eyes and leaned back onto the couch. My head felt heavy and my body twitched. I could hear the faint sound of music playing, softly. I got up and followed the sweet sound. I followed it up stairs and down the hallway. I met with a closed door to the piano room. I opened the door and the sweet song kept playing on. I saw jasper sitting at the grand piano.

His eyes were glued to the piano keys and his hands danced across the keys . I watched until the song was over. It was sweet, and sad. And it touched me. I dont know if I was just really high or it really did touch me in the heart but it brought me to tears.

It ended and he didnt look at me he just took his hands off of the keyboard and sat.

I sat beside him and looked in his eyes. "Dont be mad." I whispered. He looked at me while a tear rolled down my cheek. He got up and attempted to leave but in the process I grabbed his wrist.

He looked down at me and I looked up at him with pleading e your yes. "Please don't be mad. Jasper im sorry." I finished in a whimper. Emotions were taking over me and I knew I was going, until he said it was okay. More tears threatening to escape but I tried my best to hold back hurting my throat.

Jasper ran a hand through my hair and smiled slightly. " I know you're better then that."

"I dont care if you did it before or not Ness. Drugs no matter what it is ,are bad for you. I love you and I couldn't stand to see your destroy yourself.. I know your going to do it again, just please be mindful. Of what your doing and to who, like yourself and the ones who love you." He said oh so softly as he leaned down and pressed his lips to my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned closer to him. He put his arms around me a pulled me tighter ,and I buried my face into his shoulder. His cold lips left my cheek and he kept me in an embrace. One last time, a tear graced my cheek.

When he pulled away I couldn't help but frown. He looked at me and smiled sweetly. "Baby girl.." He almost whispered, his voice sounding tired. He kissed my forehead making me shiver, his cold smooth lips sent shocks up my spine almost. His hand ran up and down my arms and all around me. He rested them on the small of my back.

Everything around me felt oblivious. It was me and jasper and nothing else. My

body was tingling and my legs felt numb. When I moved the slightest bit my head would whirl and hit. The floor underneath me crumbled and disappeared. I felt so good. No worries no concerns only hurt in my heart but I couldn't feel much.

He leaned in and whispered into my ear softly. "You should go to bed now." I nodded and parted from him, almost. He left our fingers entwined with mine, following behind me. The high in my head was twisted, and blinding. I stumbled many times and Jasper was there to help me.. Once we were in my room I let go of his hand and undid my jeans and let them drop to the floor.

I stood there looking at my bed dazed . Jasper wrapped his arms around me from behind and stood with me. His arms were bare sowing he took off his clothes also. Time for bed. I thought to myself. I crawled into bed and sat looking at him. He was in his boxers, his devilish smile hung on his lips almost teasing me, and his hair perfectly messy.

I don't know if it was the weed or just me but I felt these odd feelings. Desire, want, and longing. He finally joined me and sat in front of me. He cradled me and layed me down, he rested ontop of me and stared into my eyes. My hands found there way to his hair and I grabbed a handful. I could feel it build up between us and I shifted impatiently for something to happen.

He knew what he was doing to me and he smiled. I felt him. I sighed deeply, I felt lava pit in my stomach and... I had to do something.

Jasper kissed my neck softly, his wet tongue met my skin and I tilted my head back and gave out a sigh. Finally. He kept his lips there and sucked lightly. "jasper.." I whispered in his ear.

He took a handful of my hair and tugged. Turning me on outrageously, "fuck." I cursed softly. "Hey, language there. Silly girl." he said moving his hand up my tank. His fingers pressing against my stomach. I allowed his hands to move freely about my body. He moved his hands and slipped two finger underneath the strap of my underwear only teasing me more.

He moved his lips up to mine and kissed me softly. It tasted so great, almost toxic but so amazing. I kissed back, ecstasy taking over me. He moved his lips against mine his tongue sliding in my mouth. I moaned softly and he chuckled and pulled away from my lips. "Don't-" I pleaded. No don't do this to me. I wanted his kiss. I grabbed his wrist and moved them down my underwear, obviously hinting to him.

I moved in, to his lips and stole a kiss and left my lips there. He laughed again and slowly moved two fingers in. I wanted this so much. He moved them up and down...up and down.. I moaned, "jasper!" I let out a cry, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him again, and again. He laughed, at me again. I was taking great pleasure in this.

I remember him telling me to sleep, and watching the world slip away from me. I was so out of it. I passed out and I slept till the morning came.


	7. Chapter 7

HEY GUYS .

Here's a quick update about this story .I am going to continue it .. But I was very happy with the last chapters and how I rushed things so avoiding (Confusing people ?) Im going to pick up where I left off , or should I re-do chapter 5&6 ? If none of you have any input and why . I'll go about how I please . I havent written for fanfiction and awhile and im planning to branch out to different stories .. (:

I miss writing for a reason and no just my simple poems and stories that tend to go nowhere but my note book so im going to put them in use ! I love all my readers and i'd really love to collect more on this site because all of you young readers/writters are amazing and it is a talent so dont be so modest ! Thank you and a new chapter for each of my stories plus new ones in series like .. Harry potter , Darren Shane the uh cirque da freak saga , ad maybe even some movies..I'd really like too branch out and if any of you want to connect and maybe give feed back or suggestions really im an easy going person just inbox me ..


	8. Chapter 8

ALLLLRIGHTY THEN

The morning came to quickly that day .. The mourning after always hurt is had learn that . Im only so lucky that I wasn't so stupid to let myself go to far. But we were both stupid to let it go that far. I regretted it so much in the morning I had a headache . And all I wanted to do was smoke a fat joint to get over it .

Once getting ready for the day and such there was not sight of jasper .. Nor anyone else for that matter . I would have hoped to see my mommy honestly I wanted to see her and have her hold me and tell me it was allright even though she wouldnt have known what wasnt alright.. But she would have tried anyways. Which makes me feel better at the thought of that.

I strolled around the Cullen residence and thought of something to do. So I called Tim. It rang twice until I heard his sweet voice answer the phone . "Whatuup Cullen ."He said tiredly . I giggled, "nothing , at all my pal . Bored, why dont you come over .." I suggested he replied with a quick yes and told me he had to run to a buddys house to pick up. What I dont know and he said it didnt mater . He gave me a half hour. I hung up and started to clean up a bit , even though there wasnt much mess.

I thought of jasper and how he made me moan .. How I liked it .. I cringed at the though , it was obvious I wasnt doing enough housework to keep my mind busy ..I moved myself to the laundry room and brought my pile of laundry I could collect with me , I found my favorite sweater and pulled it over my head immediately .It was purple , my favorite colour. While loading the washer I stumbled upon forty bucks in my shorts . This was followed by a very excited Nessie .I quickly finished my laundry and ran to my room. Thoughts of what I could do with money made me excited .

I broke my piggy bank viciously on the floor ."damn"was all I had to say . I added it all up quickly , I had a good amount of bills,like two hundred . I also had at least 20 in change I giggled at my earnings.

I suddenly heard a knock at my door I sprinted downstairs to see Tim and his friend from the other

night , Dave . "Hey!stranger!" I said happily and gave him a hug. "You're early .."He smiled at me . "Well yeah , here's the thing I thought i'd just bring you along for the ride," He said to me with the most sincere face . "Okay well let me go get changed and stuff !" He laughed. "You look go."

"Oh please , I know that. But girls like to dress up!" I said bubbley running for the stairs, "now , go chill! Eat my food . Ill be two seconds." I stumbled into my room running to fast .. I ripped apart my closet. I put a navy blue tank on with a pair of white shorts along with my favorite pair of brown flats did my make up with heavy eyeliner cat eyes and dealt with my messy head of hair . I like it messy so I put mouse in it and shook it around and threw it up . I check myself out and nodded in approval grabbed my small handbag and stuffed all my money in it.

I stopped myself before leaving my room to think .. But then I fucked it and ran downstairs . And as I thought Tim had an empty plate sitting between him and Dave . I chuckled and grabbed the plate and disposed of it .. "Ready?" He asked me while his friend looked then looked away . I smiled big , "yes."

We took off in his car I was shotgun and I had brought my CD I had just made last week. I let it play from first to last , Tongue tied by group love was playing and I blasted it . It was so pretty outside today sun shining in Forks .

Tim and I made eye contact while I was dancing in his seat. He started to yell the lyrics his black shade and his grin id never get tired of. It was so bright I swear next to him was Jacob they were both my best est friends . I had together friends like girls id hang out with in school but id never make an effort to speak to them outside of school only some of them . Tim was the only one at my 14th birthday part , just because I wanted him to be the only one there. It was cute with a pink cake and everything .I mean it was the first night he had got me high and im pretty sure I was embarrassed as hell but he said it was cute.

I had noticed we pulled into a neighborhood near my grandpas house. The house was slightly bigger then mine actually but very old looking . "lets go boys," Tim said taking off his glasses to look at me and I had tell that he wasn't sober. I almost gasped , driving ? High? That douche.

He skipped to the doorway , and entered the house .i cautiously stepped into the hazey house. There were area carpets areas and music playing loudly . Odd pieces of art and a girl with long black hair sitting in a chair with a magazine in a room beside the door way , The walls were coloured a faded sea foam green and the paint was cracked. With accent walls that had exposed brick. "Emma!" Tim said happily as he turned in we all took a seat I was stuck on a huge old couch with Dave , who was lighting something up.

"Tim," She said getting up to give him a hug. A song started to play and I couldn't help but move to it . It was in bloom by nirvana . She smiled big at me .

"Who's you're friend?"

"Oh her? That's my bestie , Nessie ."

She giggled a little then stopped herself . "Like the sea monster ?"

I laughed . "A lake monster actually , and that's a name my idiot boyfriend gave me and it sticks .. It's Renesme."I said with a grin.

She smiled sweetly back and laughed. "well , welcome Nessie to our humble abode. Im Emma Jade , and my idiot boyfriend is out right now ," she looked at Tim "you just missed him, he'll back though in like twenty minuets."

"Shit, I really wanted to go see London. He's got a whole whack of shit." I turned away from the conversation because Dave nudged me he was passing my a cigar that smelt funny. "What is it?'I asked . He laughed loudly . "A blunt." I took it and started to puff on it. He smiled at me and leaned against me. "hey!look at fearless over here. I like her time where did you find her.." Both Emma and Tim turned towards us. "at the park.." He said bleakly as they left the room .

I gave the blunt back to Dave and noticed I haven't texted Jacob all day I picked up my phone from my purse and texted him. As texting him I was coughing like mad , hoping Jacob was in a good mood. After -hey baby.

I threw my phone down between us, and he handed me the blunt again . I puffed it and started to cough again . I started to wonder where Tim went off too . He cam back with a glass device in his hand and a smirk on his face."Whats that?"I quirked . He smiled at me .. "A present . Come here." I did as told and sat on the chair in front of him he was packing weed in the bowl and he handed it to me .

"here sunshine"

I took it and he lit it for me I started to suck , it made a bubble sound. I took as much as I could and handed it to him let it goal in his face . I started to die the burning was too much . They all laughed at me and so did I . "holly fuck .Timmy , Im gunna b- be to high." He laughed at me , like it was a good thing. And sure enough he said ."That's good babydoll , that's good." The thing with Tim was he'd call you whatever name he wanted but to him it was what fit best in his mind at the time .

And the thing about me I knew he thought I was the cutest thing around and he just loved having me around him . "Okay.." I said shyly .He started to hit the bong, while Dave went to the sound system and dashed for tim's car keys . I was sitting there watching Tim take his hit . Once he was done he look at

me. "Are you okay?" I laughed and nodded. "Yeah , I have a good 15 minuets to go sit in a safe place ." I giggled he laughed out load and ruffled my strolled in and said soemthing incoherent and grabbed my arm . I stumbled behind her as she took me down a yellow colourd hallway and up hardwood stairs into a blue room . Where it was quite . I sat down on a purple bed and she opened up her closet frantically.

Oh boy, Its hitting I fell down on her bed and started at the ceiling . I was thinking about the buddah painting on the wall it look so happy it was a elephant I was thinking of getting it written on me forever.

My thoughts of the tattoo that I was never going to get was interrupted but something nudging my leg . I look up at Emma. I noticed her eyes were a nice mellow green and he hair I envy . "Soo are you just gunna' lay there or help me pick out an outfit ." So thats why se dragged me up here .. "Oh!" I got up quickly .She giggled at me and moved to her closet again. "So I like this one, and it goes great with this , but I want to wear a skirt tonight ."

I looked at the red skirt it was nice and it would look cute on her but there wasn't much to go with red in her wardrobe . I thought of the nice Lacey tank I had in my closet . I pick a white flowery shirt fro her closet and asked for the approval . Shes smiled and wen into a room I didn't even see before . I plopped myself back down on the bed and sighed. She walked out with tan booties and a cue necklace on and her hair up . "Damn girl ." I said . She laughed loudly . I heard Take Care mix play loudly . "My idiots home ," she said smiling .I smiled back at her . And followed her out the door . Drake made me sing his lyrics.

We walked into the room and I saw Dave and Tim standing by the sound system I started dancing towards them with this grin on my face that made im clench his stomach when he started laugh . I moved closer to him and faced him and sang rihanans part. I turned back and saw emma hugging a dude I didnt even notice. He had a huge bag in his hands but the song distracted me and we started to fake shuffle . I noticed Dave was telling me something in my ear, something like he liked my music . Then I realized it was my CD . I smiled at him and yelled thanks as the music went down .Awkward moment when … The dude that was embracing Emma walked in and threw his bag in the coffee table . It grew silent I looked around like an idiot . He opened it and all I heard was sighs , coming from my mouth too.

My phone suddenly went off it was Jacob ;

-WHERE the HELL are you?


End file.
